Conversations with Bangalore auto driver: A woman’s character

I wrote about a part of my conversation with a Bangalore auto driver. Our conversation meandered from NaMo to Muslim-haters, Rushdie, censorship, in that order.

He brought up Rushdie and how ‘westernized Muslims’ do disservice to religion, leave alone others. I asked if he had read the book. He said he didn’t but he has heard what he wrote about – a parody of Prophet’s life. Unable to resist, I asked what he thought of the ‘satanic verses’.

‘Satanic verses?’ (Later I think if he was just checking what I knew?)

I explain. ‘Quran, as I understand, was verbally revealed to Prophet by angel Gabriel (Jibrail as I said to him) in the cave of Hira and it was recorded later by his disciples.

So, before founding of Islam, Meccans worshipped three pagan goddesses. One day Prophet came back from cave and announced that these goddesses were exalted. However, few days later, Prophet retracts these verses that angel Gabriel has informed him that Satan tempted him to utter these verses. Hence, the phrase ‘satanic verses’, right?’

At this point, auto driver is ‘impressed’ with my ‘knowledge’. Even while driving, instead of looking at road, he turns to look back, as if seeing me with new eyes.

‘Yes, those goddesses are Allāt, al-‘Uzzā and Manāt. Prophet had perhaps said it out of his desire to make peace with erstwhile Arabs who worshipped goddesses.’

Conversations with a Bangalore Auto Driver

On a sultry Bangalore evening at 6pm, I waited at the end of a tiring work day to go home. However, even after 40 minutes, I wasn’t able to either grab an Ola or get any benevolent auto driver to agree to take me to my destination, my home. I wasn’t alone. There were other women unsuccessfully trying to do the same.

Suddenly the lady beside me caught one auto and took pity on me. She suggested that I share her ride and after dropping off, I could go further to my destination. It was only a minor detour and I accepted. Honestly, there wasn’t much choice; I had been waiting there for long now.

Anyway, inside auto, I realised that the lady, like me, was from Delhi. Our conversation inevitably covered over-chagrining auto drivers, Delhi men, rapes, Delhi vs Bangalore so on. (I still bat for Delhi though less passionately; I may be growing to like Bangalore.)

As soon as the other lady got off the cab, the auto driver, silent all this while, turned to me and asked: ‘Madam, what were you both talking about auto drivers? I am not so educated but I do understand a little bit.’ I felt a chill go down in my heart and tried to remember what had I said about auto drivers.

I kept my cool, smiled at him in the rear view mirror and said: ‘We weren’t talking anything complex and educational anyway. Of course, you understood everything we said. And we did praise you, didn’t we? For not taking advantage of the situation by overcharging us?’ He was mollified.

‘Oh yes! That’s why I didn’t say anything to you. There is no reason why any auto driver should refuse or overcharge’. We had perhaps run into one conscientious auto driver in all of Bangalore. Thank God for that. Crisis averted. But our conversation did not end.

Unraveling of a ‘What The Black’ Mystery

Ah, I wrote ‘black things I would still like to buy‘ and mentioned that it was part of #WhatTheBlack activity. Now that promo is over, it is time to unravel.

An aside: This reminded me of a dialog (though it is not quite the same thing) from the movie ‘Prestige’: Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course… it probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn”. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige”.“

#WhatTheBlack was an interesting campaign around the theme of colour black which resonated with me, and few small things that indicate beginnings or begin our morning literally. It was an interesting campaign to build a mystery, pique your curiosity just enough to wait for next day’s clues. Frankly I couldn’t; I could have guessed the product. Here are all the ‘clue’ pics:

Day 1 – A black egg, you break it to find a rock, solid chocolate 🙂 Egg is symbol of beginnings.

Day 2 – Black newspaper, a thing you begin your mornings with

Day 3 – a black tissue paper, a black glass (presumably for coffee) and an empty

Final unravel – Tada!

This is what the #WHATTHEBLACK product is: COLGATE SlimSoft Charcoal toothbrush.

You can find more about this special toothbrush here.

Jhatpat Tag

Vee tagged me, the  once-reigning meme queen:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

She laughs. A Dog? Why?

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air?

My handsome tote bag that I carry to work

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

I haven’t watched TV since two months. Unless you count glimpses of Rakhi Sawant show caught at a friend’s place.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?

8.30 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

8.12 pm (Testing my time keep abilities, are you? I am bad at it since I live in timelessness and also I cheated)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Bob Dylan playing in my room. Wait Ganesh Chaturthi loud speakers are also playing outside my balcony, somewhere in my society.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

An hour ago to catch a burger from Subway

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?

Vee’s blog to copy this whole thing

9. What are you wearing?

Skirt and top, ready for bed.

10. When did you last laugh?

Little while ago, was pulling my favorite friend’s leg which has become my e-speciality. 8)

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

At home, in my room, beautiful red and lime green walls were so good I didn’t put up anything other than a framed picture of my sister and me. By the way, I have uploaded this picture in my this post about my sister.

Poor English Peasant? :rolling my eyes:

12. Seen anything weird lately?

Yes, saw someone putting imbecile graphic visualizations in training program. For example, this is supposed to depict a poor English peasant:

13. What do you think of this quiz?

Inane and Simple; perfect for my tired frame of mind

14. What is the last film you saw?

Juno

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

An Island and stuff my lone house there with all books and movies I can find.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!

…that I have made some girlie jokes about you (in good spirit of course) with other girls. Nope, don’t ask, for I won’t tell. 😉

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would remove all caste, region, religion barriers. We must be one.

18. Do you like to Dance?

Yes, but can’t really shake a leg for life.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Navya, though I am not sure. It’s tentative.

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call her?

Atiharn. Again, tentative.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes, for a short period of time. Tuscany, Rome, Venice, and maybe even Paris. Pity they never send you onsite to these places.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

Take care of all my loved ones I left behind. Let them know how I miss them.

I tag Indyeah, Arpit, Withering Willow and HyperMom.

P.S: Vee, as a tribute to you, I have not used the ‘more tag’ to cut off my post. I know that lazy you doesn’t  like it. 🙂

Of Good Days and Bad Days

Cartoon by Brainstuck.com

I have usually never paid attention to how my day has been: good or bad. Even when my sister asks me everyday, how was your day. I tell her it was as usual. But sometimes your days go horribly wrong and one thing or one person can make a huge difference.

Like the day I told you I lost my jute bag. After I lost the bag, some more subtle and unpleasant things happened same day. While returning to home, I realised with shock that I had also lost 250GB hard disc that I kept in my bag! With this discovery, I was more than ready to wallow in self-pity.

By sheer instinct, I decided to go back to the restaurant at metro station where I had eaten a vegetable cutlet waiting for my colleague, my co-commuter. I half-heartedly asked the guys at the counter about a jute bag that I might have left in their eating area. They queerly looked at each others’ faces, and called other guys. Finally one guy asks me, What did you have in your bag? Inwardly I angrily thought they don’t even have it, yet I have to list the contents of my bag. But to my surprise, they had it!

My colleague was wrong when she said I had brought the bag to auto. I got all my things back. The guy at counter informed me that my bag had also caused a ‘bomb’ scare. Getting your things back after losing them once is a very happy phenomenon. So that was a day that started badly and ended on a happy note. 😀

Cartoon from Toonpool.com

It happened again.

What?

Something’s happened to me.

My presence of mind has gone for a toss. I do not see the obvious.

I have always been wee-bit absent minded, I live in timelessness. By timelessness, I mean I never realise what today’s date is. If I happen to notice the date, I will remember – Oh, Today is K’s birthday! It also means that because I have no sense of time in my personal life (in professional, I can be as good as you can get), I am rarely the one to close a meeting or call (unless it’s a deadline to be back at home or an emergency of sorts). It also makes me passive in relationships, I usually react rather than act. I prefer if someone else decides to initiate/end a meeting or call or take the relationship forward or vice versa. There are several pitfalls of such behaviour though. But I digress. This time I have taken my absent-mindedness too far.

The two examples I am going to share involve my two blogger friends. I will call them R and G. So R had told me her real name several months ago. Yet when a discussion about real names came up recently, I asked her name again. She told me. I found her name very familiar. I dismissed it as general forgetfulness. Imagine next day when I receive a sms from R, I realise I had saved her number in my phone along with her real name. Her real name flashes on my screen every time we sms/call each other. Yet I was clueless!

Another friend, this time a personal friend and fellow blogger told me how a person G had tracked her down at a social networking site. I went on tell my friend about my interactions with G in the past. Late at night while I was about to sleep I realised that G had also tracked ME down in the same social networking site and sent me an invitation too. That email was lying unread in the mailbox. Why didn’t I relate and tell that to my friend while we were discussing!!

Several nights, when I go to sleep, I belatedly register the intended meaning of what my friend had tried to explain me on chat during the day. During the day, I had rushed to berate him while he had said nothing that was strong or bad. He, being a sweet gem, had let it pass. Believe me this has not been first occurrence, where I have jumped to take offence at something unintended and innocent. This is typical ‘tubelight’ behaviour that has never been associated with me. It doesn’t sit well with me.

To put an icing on my cake, I keep losing things. Other day I dropped the book I was reading while travelling. The book was Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. (Yeah, it has a movie made on it too.) Reema gave me a soft copy of it while I was lamenting my loss of losing an ‘unfinished book’ (As if losing the book after I had read would have OK). Thanks, girl! 🙂

Today too I left behind a jute bag carrying my lunch, milk, scarf and some papers (Thank God, there was no money) in the auto. Darn! I miss my glass of milk.

Btw, Happy April Fool’s Day! I wish I could say I was making a fool out of you. But every word here is true. 😦 Meanwhile, here is my last year’s April Fool’s Day post.

Birthday calendar courtsey Smiley me.

Link Diary: March’ 09

This centrestage link is from my friend, Hypermom, who wrote about women driving in Bangalore.

Manofroma has written a very informative post about a beautiful young woman whose body was found in the coffin in Appian Way. Nothing new about perhaps finding a body in coffin, only her body was as fresh as it must be 15 centuries earlier. Manofroma invites an ‘Indian perspective’ on the same.

March 23 was death anniversary of our martyrs Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev. Jai Hind: Proud to be an Indian reminded us on their blog. This is their last year’s detailed post.

For humor, here is a clip called ‘If Three Stooges were Makers‘ from Daily Cup of Tech. Go on visit his post to laugh.

Meanwhile, Vikas has started another blog on river rafting in Rishikesh, hop over his blog to read his adventures in detail. It was a nostalgic experience for me. 🙂

Finally, polling for MovieManiax Awards is still on. Vote now.

Results for MovieManiax Awards will be announced on 7th April.

P.S: This is the shortest link dairy post I have ever done.

My Sister Doll and Me

Prologue: This post is for my kiddo, my sister. She is in her early twenties, yet to me she feels like a kiddo. She is away for a week and I am missing her. So this post is a sort of profile on her (and us). Warning: This is a long winding, personal post. You may skip if not interested.

Doll and me. Chinese doll-looking kid is my sister.
It is her fav picture. A framed copy of it lays on her bedside table.

I remember the first time I saw my sister in the hospital. A white cotton-like baby wrapped in white sheet. She was so fragile that I was scared to hold her in my arms. Later when she grew old enough to eat solid foods, her feeding time would be a treat for me. A nightmare for Ma because my sister wouldn’t eat any baby food, and I would happily eat the baby food meant for her. I don’t know why I liked it!

Dealing with Insincere Friends

I never thought I would be ever writing a personal rant on my blog.

But I am peeved, really hurt and angry.

This is about a person I recently came in contact with. I would not say where for I do not want my readers to pinpoint her identity. For sake of ease, let’s call this person Sam.

So Sam was good to talk to, you could identify with her background. She could make sensible conversation. She is earning good bucks every month. We became friends (not because of this last reason though 🙂 ) and then fell to eating and traveling together.

Sam would invariably never carry cash. She would arrive in morning with only 10 rupees cash or not even that. She always had an ATM card, which too never seemed to have money at opportune moment. Once she even claimed to block her card!

Without Using Own ATM

Cartoon by Anshul of Brainstuck.com

I paid for Sam‘s travel (both to and fro), breakfast, juices, mineral water, snacks and even digestive lozenges. I think, my readers, you all get the picture. It was bad.

I pointed it out to Sam that she was not paying her share and that she did not even remember it later. She feigned to be ashamed for a while, apologised, but soon was back to square one. It was worse till last moment I spent with Sam.

Hurt is not about money. It’s a matter of principle. Everyday we squabble with rickshaw pullers, auto drivers if they overcharge us for even few rupees. At least they are providing a service, here is a well-to-do-person hoping to live off me. I would have been happy if I were feeding a hungry mouth. It’s that nagging feeling of being taken advantage off by a ‘leech’ in garb of friend. It hurts, because it was me at receiving end. I mean I don’t take shit from anyone!

Joke of the day is that Sam did quarrel (along with me) with a stall owner at CP about overcharging for 2 rupees! She would not have paid either shopkeeper or me anyway, why did she care to cry hoarse for consumer rights!

Sam, if you are reading this, we could perhaps have been good friends. But all I remember is your pettiness. I am writing this because I want you to know how I hurt and disgusted I feel by your attitude. I hope you feel shamed enough to stop taking advantage off others.

I tried talking to Sam, it didn’t help. How would you deal with such human parasites?

P.S: Hope you had a nice friendship day! 🙂

5 Types of People I Hate…

Nita tagged me to write about 5 people that I hate. Such 5 types of people are:

Back-biters: I wanted to tell them: Say it on my face, losers! You may think my back is most vulnerable part of me, but you are mistaken.

That was quite a vehement response. 🙂

Insensitive folks: People who are impatient with disabled as well as senior citizens and other people who serve us daily like peons, waiters, labourers, rickshaw pullers. I hate it when people are not addressed with respect. There is another category, people who are rude to people who do not look great, are scarred or plagued with moles. Now this one is utterly disgusting.

People who do not keep word: I look down such with disgust who do not keep their promises. To me, they are real losers. I find no forgiveness in myself when I find they are in habit of breaking promises. Sometimes you break promises as you have no choice, but making a habit of it is disgusting. As Xylene says, they are “auto-rickshaw types”, changing their words every 100 mts.

Inefficient and unwilling-to-learn people: This is strictly professional grouse. People who are inefficient are never my friends. Never! May be you are not naturally skilled, but your willingness to learn, the attitude will warm you to me. If that is missing, in my heart, I will always shun you.

People who spit and pee in public places: You might be wondering how did you see the sudden burst of pichkari without Holi. Anyone can spit unceremoniously in India..your auto driver, your well-groomed colleague. Most walls in public places will be lined with tobacco spit and hateful smell of pee. Our cricketers too do it. I hate all of you who do it. 😦

Read this interesting article by Harshad Oak about spitting here.

I think I will publish other two interesting and rather long tags in different post. You know I am a self-confessed meme queen of 2008! 🙂