Prologue: This post is for my kiddo, my sister. She is in her early twenties, yet to me she feels like a kiddo. She is away for a week and I am missing her. So this post is a sort of profile on her (and us). Warning: This is a long winding, personal post. You may skip if not interested.Doll and me. Chinese doll-looking kid is my sister.
It is her fav picture. A framed copy of it lays on her bedside table.
I remember the first time I saw my sister in the hospital. A white cotton-like baby wrapped in white sheet. She was so fragile that I was scared to hold her in my arms. Later when she grew old enough to eat solid foods, her feeding time would be a treat for me. A nightmare for Ma because my sister wouldn’t eat any baby food, and I would happily eat the baby food meant for her. I don’t know why I liked it!
I and my sister have lived apart for about 10 years since we both were studying and working in different cities. We met only once or twice a year. If lucky, then 4 or 5 times a year. Doll always wrote me long letters, which I did my best to reply. Sometimes, my best was not enough. :sheepish: But my sister wrote me ceaselessly. She is a fantastic letter writer, capable of evoking vociferous emotions from the most taciturn person around. I have saved each one of her letter. She still leaves a letter or note whenever she leaves. In fact, the day she is leaving, I find myself hurrying to home just to see her letter I know she would have left.
Calling my sister a kiddo may mislead a reader. Because my kid sister does a great job of looking after me. Yes, looking after me. She is the one who constantly fusses over my food. She knows that I forget to drink water (for that matter I even forget to eat food until headache beckons); she has taken it to herself to remind me on and off. Also, she cooks. She loves to cook. And it would seem she cooks for me. She knows I love spicy food (she can not eat chilly herself), so she pours lots of chilly into food out of love. So much chilly that even I am C-C-ing 😛 Yet her food is tasty.
I have a common thing with lord Hanuman. It is said that Hanumanji was cursed so he never knew his own powers and talents unless someone else reminded him. When he crossed seven seas to find Sita, he was praised and encouraged by Sugreev, Jamvant and others. (I read this in a book long back in school when I had no new books to read.)
This is true for me too. I am lazy crawler; everything I have done in my life has been because of a small push/nudge by someone. My parents recognised my talent early when they realised I was far ahead of the kids in my class. Like, I had learnt all 12 tenses when I was in second standard (I was 6 then.) So they pushed me for academic excellence, and I obliged them year after year. My sister on the other, though she was always in top 5, enjoyed that there were no such expectations from her. I was envious of her then. But I digress. Back to the nudge by people.
Even this blog. I started it because I had promised someone and also because I was pushed. Now Doll has taken that position, she pushed me to take driving classes. She pushes me to exercise. (I have not exercised for a single day since she has been away.) She berated me for not keeping my promise to join the Jazz dance class this month. I will join next month.
Doll’s compassion hasn’t only be reserved for me, even for her friends. After years of witnessing her friends taking advantage of her, I am aggressively protective when it comes to her decisions related to friendship. One time she agreed to lend 15k to a colleague she had known only 5 months earlier! I think I was overly protective of her in everything. I remember once she was flying alone, I was not sure if my sister would manage the check-in safely. Poor girl had to borrow a phone before boarding to call me to assure. 😀 I feel silly now for I needn’t bothered. In fact, Doll has done me proud for her smooth transition from college to career. She handled all the job interviews with an élan in a new city (she navigated on her own everywhere), that too just a week after she finished college. She bagged all the jobs she went for and chose to work in a NGO than working as a HR executive in corporate. :sheepishly: I had done my best to nudge her to HR. She has been firm in her decision to stick to NGO.
Doll also leads by example. She is the one who inspired me for meagre cooking I know and do on rarest of occasions. She is an immaculate housekeeper, while I am the sloppy one. At a given point on my bed, there are pillows and cushions spread around. Several books and magazines lay all over my bed. Laptop plugged in. DVDs that I hope to watch, yet I never watch are spread across. TV remote hidden somewhere beneath, same for cell phone. When night arrives, I just make some space and go to sleep.
Everyday my sister ensures my bed is made so that I feel free to make clutter I love on my bed. I tell her not to bother, instead take time out for herself. But she pays no heed to me. Day after day when I come back from work, my room continues to be squeaky clean. Since the day she has gone, I return to my cluttered bed. I make up my bed only in her memory and clutter it again for next day.
Readers of my blog would know that my sister had been unwell for long. Thanks to Sakhi and her ongoing treatment, we now know she is suffering from IBS. That ensures there are very few things in the world that Doll can eat. So there used to be time, when I would incessantly wake Doll up in morning so that she puts some food in the stomach. Or quarrel with her to make her eat something she doesn’t like. In my anger, several times I have screamed, you should go and stay with Ma. Ma will know how to take care of you for I can’t handle you. Later one day, Ma told me when she asked my sis to come home, Doll told her that she will stay with me no matter what I say until I marry! Since that day, I never ever asked Doll to go to Ma. I understand, for better or worse, we have to be there for each other.
Doll, I am missing you. When you come back, I promise not to ignore you while I am at my laptop. I will try not to abruptly shut your running commentary when I am watching my favourite show or a movie. I will try to shut you up gently . 😛 I will also ignore all that mindless hours of channel-surfing you do. (After 3-4 hours, there is nothing we have seen in entirety!) But I promise I will chuck the laptop to listen to whatever you say. Come back soon, I love you, my baby. 😀