Pain is such an abstract and intense feeling that everything else disappears into the oblivion. I have a fear of pain to the extent that it can be qualified as phobia. I even looked up for the right word. It is odynophobia—fear of pain. A quick search on Internet helpfully provided me with another choice. Psychiatrist call it algophobia—it is defined as morbid or abnormal fear of pain. Well, I refuse to believe I am in the latter category. I have a sane mind sitting on my stooping shoulders.

I am surprised that I am beginning my first post writing about pain. Strange! It is not at all the case that I have undergone or am undergoing a lot of pain in my life. I just happened to glimpse into a transient world of pain. I am glad I am able to call it transient. I have always been scared of pain—both emotional and physical.

I remember seeing a guy, who had broken his leg, being taken to the nearby hospital in a cumbersome rickshaw. He was visibly in pain. He was constantly pleading to rickshaw-puller to go slow. The rickshaw-puller was actually walking and pulling the rickshaw slowly enough not to move his already broken bone. The guy was still in terrible agony. I had witnessed this incident years ago. I have not been able to take that image out of my mind since that day. I still associate the image of that guy with broken leg with pain.

I have been fortunate not to get a broken bone in my life. I pray hard to God that I remain that way always. I am scared. I am scared of childbirths, I am scared of all sort of physical pain that comes by in a normal life.

Emotional pain, I realize, can be as tormenting. Though in a different way. You lose track of the entire world around you. You either lose your appetite or gain it in an abnormal way, depending on the kind of person you are. Some people become overtly aggressive, others withdraw into their cocoon. Some want to talk about their angst, others carry it around in their bosom. You give in to impulses, do strangest of things without any clear rationale. Like I did with this first post. I admit I have odynophobia, though there is no escape from it.

8 Responses to “Angst-o-Phobia”

  1. 1 rameshindiatimes September 6, 2007 at 1:11 am

    Yes, we hate pain. Infact almost everybody hates pain (and expects pleasure, for me which is being impractical) but, I do luv pain, how weird it may sound.

    I luv pain because it tought me few things within few moments of my life, which I think no one could ever have tought me in my life.

    I luv pain because it made me tougher to stand against the smaller pains that I usually come across in my life or simply ignore them because they are too light to bother about.

    I luv pain because it teaches me everyday how risk of pain is positively correlated with chances of pleasure. (simplest example is share market risk and return, higher the risk higher expected return and vice versa).

    I luv pain and I expect pleasure………. am I still weird??

  2. 2 Poonam Sharma September 6, 2007 at 6:45 am

    Not weird, though a different outlook. Quite positive when you say ” I luv pain because it tought me few things within few moments of my life” and “I luv pain because it made me tougher to stand against the smaller pains ”

    We cant escape pain in daily hum drum of life, though I hate it, can handle emotional pain. I have a gift of forgetfulness.

    But physical pain is unbearable to me. But God is kind, perhaps he knows I cant handle much pain, he has given me less physical pain so far. I hope it stays so.

  3. 3 Mahak July 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Oh I am scared of pains too…the worst is injections!!!! The needle makes me dizzy…and yeah child birth..but I guess we all(females only) have to face it sometime…….. 😉

    But don’t you agree females go through a lot more pain than the males do?I mean theres pain starting from puberty to waxing/threading to child birth to menopause to osteoporosis?????What do you think?

  4. 4 Poonam Sharma August 8, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    @Mahak: Yes, I agree women have to go through more pain than men. I have kind of managed to suffer needle a year ago, but the thought of child births gives me creeps.

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